According to Norm Shealy, M.D., research shows that human beings are born with only two natural fears: loud noises and falling. All the rest are learned.
And very likely instilled in us by adults as we grow up.
As a result, we are allowing the fears we learned as little children to influence our decisions today.
Or, in the words of Emotional Freedom Technique expert Brad Yates, our adult lives are being run by kindergartners.
It’s time to stop letting the kindergartner inside us run [and ruin] our lives.
I have been under a lot of stress lately – too many projects and too little time. I’m sure you’ve been there before.
I am grateful I know many stress reducing techniques to help me through it.
In taking a close look at what was triggering some of my stress, my mother’s advice to me as a child popped up as the source of my fear of failure. She’s the one who told me to be afraid.
Out of her love for me, ironically. And I bet many of you have had the same experience.
My mother grew up in an age when women had very few options. The primary career choice was wife and mother.
I was of the generation that was just starting to break that pattern, and my mother told me she envied the choices the women of my generation had — because she didn’t have any when she was my age.
When I was a teenager starting to think about my future, my mother told me that I should get a teaching certificate so that if anything ever happened to my husband, I would have “something to fall back on.”
There were several messages in there:
- I was expected to get married
- My husband would take care of me
- If anything happened to my husband [that meant death, by the way, because there was virtually no divorce 50 years ago], I wouldn’t be able to take care of myself UNLESS
- I should become a teacher, which was the only career choice for most woman at that time.
So today when I was working on clearing my stress level over current projects that aren’t proceeding as fast as I’d hoped, these admonitions cropped up.
Because it was instilled in me at an early age that I just might not be o.k. taking care of myself.
Whew! What a big burden to carry.
But the most important thing is: she was wrong. Women, including me, are perfectly capable of being successful, healthy and happy, with or without a husband.
So what is the lie you were told as a child? What fear was installed in you?
Did you buy into it?
If so, isn’t it time to set it aside?
How long are you going to let the kindergartner in you run your life?
Please feel free to comment below. I’d love to hear your insights