Three Questions to Help You Find Your Voice

This is a story about it never being too late to find your voice in every situation.  I only just found mine.

Yes, I teach and write about being all you can be, going for your dreams and being fearless – but some lessons take longer to learn than others.

Or they come in stages.

And as I’ve said many times, we teach what we need to learn.

Backstory

Given a choice, I always choose a female health practitioner instead of a male.  I have had incidents in the past of male practitioners making sexual advances so I figure, why tempt fate?

My primary physician is a man and I am very comfortable with him in all circumstances.   But again, all things being equal, I will usually choose a woman.

And yet sometimes we are not given choices, and how often do we just go along with what is happening without expressing what we want?

I once had a roommate who was attending a fundraiser at a local movie theatre.  There were perhaps 75 people in a theatre that could seat 1000.  She was in a row by herself, and all the rows around her were empty.  Yet a man she didn’t know came and sat next to her and put his hand on her knee.

Even more remarkable is that she let him – she told me later she didn’t object because she didn’t want to offend him!! That’s how deep a woman’s programming is to be docile and prepared to please men.

I’d like to think I would have said something, or found another seat, but that was a long time ago and I don’t know if I would have had the courage to move either.

Ladies: How many times have you had a man make a sexual invitation and, if you declined, he implied you were frigid?   I imagine a lot of hands going up right now.  The fault is always made out to be ours and, not wanting to be thought ill of, we go along.

Today’s story

Yesterday I went for my annual skin check with my female dermatologist.  Every year prior, I have been led back to the exam room by a female assistant who stayed to help during the examination.

Yesterday, I was taken back by a male.  I wondered if he was just taking me to the two females or if he was going to be the assistant.

When we got to the exam room, he asked me to sit down and started to introduce himself.  It was clear he was going to assist during the examination and I blurted out, “I want a woman.”

I surprised both of us.  He started to explain again he was an R.N. and I again said, “I understand but I want a woman.”

I was pleasant, I was smiling, but I was clear.  So he left and I was examined by my female doctor only.

I don’t know where that voice came from, but it was long overdue.  It didn’t take any conversation in my head trying to drum up the nerve, I didn’t feel uncomfortable or guilty.   I was just clear on deserving what I wanted.

Who’s in charge of our bodies?  We are!

I must admit I did have thoughts of being written up as a troublemaker as in the Seinfeld episode where every doctor Elaine went to had a note in her chart saying she was difficult.  But I think not because I was pleasant and smiled.

I tell this story in the event there are any of you out there who still might hesitate at stating what you want.  Have courage – be clear – let your voice ring out.

Three questions to help you find your voice

When faced with an invitation or decision, here are three questions to ask yourself:

1.  Is it good for me?
2. Do I want to do it?
3. How will it make me feel?

Your answers should be yes, yes and good.  Otherwise, perhaps you should decline the invitation.

We are in charge of our bodies and our destinies.  We should be comfortable at all times.  Don’t be afraid to speak up for what you want.  We all deserve at least that.